Meat...

Jenny: I'm gonna go defrost my meat while I shower... why does that sound so dirty?

Tami: I'm going to kill myself.

Becca is making me put this up. I promise there is more to me than wanting to have sex. Kill me now.

Tami: Just look at him... I want to touch him... MAN!! I just need to get married and have lots of sex.

Tami: How can she think Tom Brady's not hot? I mean, look at him... how can you not just want to touch him?

<--- Said in reference to this pic

Li

Liz: Don't step it isn't poop now
[On Wheel of Fortune... the solution was "Don't call us we'll call you"]

Liz: She kinda has a pineapple head.

Tami: I think if I had to choose between sex and milk I'd kill myself.
Jenny: I'd choose sex, I'm not gonna lie.
Tami: Yeah, I think I might choose milk.
Liz: But you'd never have babies.
Tami: But there are ways around that.
Liz: Yeah, like a turkey baster.

Becca: I didn't spill on myself because I'm the least bit tipsy, but because I'm a freaking tool.

Liz: Come look at my schlode. My schlode gets longer by the day.

Liz: I should go check out our schlode.

Tami: He's just so adorable and cute and I want to play with him.

From the dinner table...

Matt: I hear they have a lot of oriental foods in Asia.

More Quotes

[About some skanky porn star]
Becca: I hate her shirt.
Liz: I hate her hair.
Tami: I hate her.

[Pertaining to Derek Jeter being on some Hottest Hotties show]
Tami: Are you joking me? Have you looked at his FACE?
Becca: Ok, but I have to say that he's totally hot in the pants. I mean, most baseball players have those skinny chicken legs but he makes those pants look good.

Quotables

Tami: You've never seen ___________ [insert some movie that EVERYONE has seen]? Are you joking me?
Becca: Nope. Never seen it.
Tami: Did you grow up in a cave?
Liz: Actually, I am a bear.

Liz: Seriously Tami, I can't wait to get married and get a KitchenAid mixer.
Tami: Oh my gosh, Liz you don't even know-that's the joke with all my friends from home- that's the only reason why I want to get married!
Becca: Oh, Tami, I think we all know there are other reasons why you want to get married.
Liz: Yeah, like sex and babies and Tom Brady.
Tami: Ok... [emphatically] YEAH!!

Liz: Uh, remember that time when I poured too much cinnamon in the cheesecake and everyone just stood there and stared and it was really silent and awkward? [said, oh, about an hour after it happened.]

Tami: Girls, we need a name for my car.
Jenny: It's maroon... sort of like an apple.
Becca: Yeah, you could name it after a fruit.
Me: That could work...
Liz: Oh, how about Goldie!!!

Tami: Ah, stupid buttsucker.
Becca: Have you ever thought about what it would be like to suck a butt?
Jenny: Where's Liz?

Liz: Ah, Tami, what are we gonna do with you?

Becca: Can I just say this cake looks freaking awesome?
Liz: I know- I can't wait to sink my teeth into its juicy flesh!